You know, if I was a god, I'd really be a lot more picky when it came to the selection process.  I mean, really, as productive as talking about wedding cakes, unscrambling word puzzles, and making lists is, I think I'd be better off reeling in bunch of trained monkeys.  They be more productive and generally more pleasant to be around.  

No offense.

But I guess instead, these gods are going to settle for mutant children and unruly teenagers.  

Good luck making use of that for your relief efforts.  Maybe the flooding was punishment for the lack of total competency in this place.

Also.  I have an important question.  Do the gods here take human sacrifices?  That might help with the supply shortage problem.  Also the annoying surplus of orphans.

Man.

[The city is all messed up again. Magic and mayhem and wars oh my, and Isaac is sitting on the front steps of the pet store, idly twisting up a piece of paper in his hands.]

Is anyone else starting to be seriously underwhelmed by the whole war stuff? I mean, I've got a feeling that we're all probably working on some serious cases of post traumatic stress or something, what with all the murders and evisceration and accidental suicides. A therapist would make a fortune here.

[Isaac shrugs, tearing the receipt in half, not really looking at the screen.] Anyway, I'm asking because the last time this city was attacked, I could barely be bothered to put on my snowshoes.

[He laughs, a little sardonically.]

Maybe that's just me.

[Robb's room is something of a familiar setting by now--not too shabby, but it certainly gives the appearance of being lived in by someone who pays some attention to neatness and cleanliness. Usually, anyway, because right now it looks like somebody nearly tore up the place looking for something.

That somebody is now poking his head back into view from behind the bed, looking rather worried but determined not to let it show. He clambers up on the bed, picking up the bracelet and turning it over, and one just might catch a glimpse of a wolf pup with grey fur and yellow eyes sitting on the bed, or a bronze-and-iron crown of swords as the video turns with the bracelet.

Once the boy's examined the bracelet enough, the video finally settles on his face.]

This isn't Westeros at all anymore, is it? [There's a note of childish anxiety in his tone--considering that he woke up in a very large bed with his last memory being of going to sleep in his own bed, that's kind of understandable. He lets out a breath, straightens up, and looks at the grey pup off-screen.] I'll have to find my way back to Winterfell somehow--you can come with me, you'll like it there.

[There's a whine from off-screen, which is probably incredibly familiar to quite a few people. The boy grins, reaches out to pet the top of the wolf pup's head.]

Come on, then, I think there's some meat in the kitchens.

[He looks completely unaware that the bracelet is recording any of this at all. Or, as he hops down the bed clutching the bracelet with the wolf (and he's going to name it Grey Wind, just you watch) trailing behind him, that he's just accidentally posted this to the network.

Whoops.]

[ooc: Robb (and also Grey Wind) is cursed for the day! He's currently six years old and has no idea that the tiny grey wolf pup is actually his, nor does he have any clue what the hell is he doing in Asgard. All replies will come from teenywolf. Enjoy your cursed King in the North, Asgard.]

[Where love might bring about sorrow, it also welcomes joy. The note hits a little close to home for him, because as glad as he is that his family is here, as glad as he is for Jon living right across the hall from him, there's still that sliver of doubt, of guilt, and that sliver's been enough to keep him up at nights, wondering if he should tell them, what he should say.

Love, he supposes, brings about both joy and sorrow, and makes fools out of kings easily enough (if not corpses). We follow our hearts wherever they take us--but right now, the only thing his heart is leading him into is more confusion and not enough sleep. He's not sure if using the network is going to help, but he has to at least try.

So, after filtering the feed away from Catelyn Stark, Jon Snow and Joffrey Baratheon (because he's just not in the mood to deal with Joffrey of all people right now nope), it opens on a very serious-looking Robb. Somebody didn't eat the chocolates. Or probably sleep that well last night, but he's no stranger to sleepless nights.]

I've two questions to ask of you, Asgard.

Say something terrible [ie a certain wedding] happened to you and your family, or someone you cared deeply about, before you came here. If they came here somehow and they didn't remember that, or they were too far away to hear any news of it quickly enough, what would you say to them? Would you even tell them, or would you keep their fates a secret from them until they do remember?

[Not that he'll take any advice telling him to keep their fates a secret. He owes his family truth about what happened, or what will happen, in some cases. They deserve to know that, at least.

He just doesn't know when and how to do it.

The rest of the video's unfiltered, and about a lighter subject matter than the first question:]

I've heard tell of something called Valentine's Day. [Look, he works at a cafe, and they've been stringing up paper hearts for the past few days to hook in Travellers. He has some very rudimentary knowledge of it.] As far as I know, it's a day set aside for those you care for. I would ask, what would you do for them for the day?

[ Scott probably should have checked the network before appearing on it so he’d know why he's in the situation he is right now, but he’s somewhat disorientated from waking up handcuffed to his freaking bed, so the first thing he does is make a video broadcast asking for answers instead. The fact that they’re comfy, padded handcuffs is more confusing, but all his clothes are on so this can't be sex-related (he can think of two people he wouldn't mind it being a sex thing with but they're nowhere to be seen plus he can't remember how he got here). Little does Scott know, he lost his bracelet and was grey for a while, but Stiles managed to finally find the damn necessary jewellery to survival here, putting it on Scott while his grey self was sleeping.

But Scott’s back to his old self now and the most confused he's ever been. ]

Can someone explain to me why I’m cuffed to a bed right now?

[ Scott looks around the room - which he recognizes as his room, and it’s pink. Thanks for redecorating while he was grey, Rue. ]

In my pink room? [ Scott looks down at the two creatures watching him at the bottom of his bed. ] Guarded by a wolf cub and baby dragon?

[ When the dragon gets closer, Scott sees it’s holding keys in its mouth. What look a lot like handcuff keys. Yes. Scott beckons the dragon over to him. ]

Here - come here, boy! Come closer, come on… [ Except the dragon doesn’t. It tosses the keys into the air and the wolf cub catches it in her mouth. And then there’s an audible swallow. Goodbye, keys. Scott just… stares, and then thumps his head back against the wall behind him with a groan. ]

This can’t be happening.

[ To make matters worse, the wolf cub and the dragon jump on him for cuddles. ]

No way. I’m not cuddling you guys.

[ Except he totally is. He’s Scott McCall, unable to resist cute animals wanting to cuddle him. ]

You both suck. [ The video ends on Scott's sulky, pouty face. ]

[It was only a matter of time before Quentin finally cracked. Initially, his frustration at this place and the frankly fucked up Circumstances had kept him a little too irate and resentful to truly begin looking in to the local magic. He likes the system back home, he's good at it, and the fact that the substance of this place doesn't want to bend under his fingertips says more about it than it does about him, in his not-so-humble opinion.

But stop learning magic?]

So.

[Not an option. His fingers itch idly through the air as he regards the camera, like if he catches the world at just the right moment it will bend for him, the magic will come.]

Who's looked at these runes they have locally? What have we got in terms of comprehensive resources there, if anything? Let's do this.

[Because if there is anything like what he left at home available, he is going to learn it from the ground up.]

[hello this is doge

King of them, anyway. Will's not showing his face today, nor is he showing anyone any dogs. There is nothing canine or fluffy about what he has to say, so far be it from him to distract with something canine and fluffy. It's also not the most savory of topics to address, and he probably looks like hell anyway. So text it is, because then he doesn't have to actually get up and shave and get dressed and looked presentable or like he has any business being outside of his room.]

I haven't been here an extraordinarily long time, but there seems to be a pattern with PSAs (Public Service Announcements) that's rather unavoidable to pick up on. Someone of ill repute who has caused a great deal of damage back in their own home gets pulled here where other people from their home have already been taken, and thus the Traveler [Traveller! Traveller! T R A V E L L E R!] population is informed about the life and times of whoever it is that the gods pulled in without thinking about their choice that much. For the safety of the people, so we know who should be avoided and why they should be avoided. Sometimes those people have already proven themselves to be worth as much by their actions in Asgard, sometimes they haven't.

[Does kicking a dog count? Animal abuse is a sign of someone being pretty messed up, but whatever. Will thinks this is all pretty ridiculous and it totally has nothing to do with his own issues back home. It's not at all him projecting in any way because he's had a tabloid "journalist" frequently writing articles on him being an insane serial killer with a bunch of people commenting on it. It totally has nothing to do with that because Will is in his right mind and has taken the time needed to distance himself from that.

Mostly.]

What I'm really concerned about is the lack of communication between us Travelers who already know or have been told all of this and the Natives. I don't see any posters to warn or inform them. I don't see what good it does in the long run if we warn one group but not the other, unless the goal is to create a glaringly obvious "us versus them" mentality or instill the idea that Travelers are the only real people in Asgard. If that's the case, job well done. If it's not, we should fix this. I don't know many of the Natives personally, [That would require talking at length and that is not at all Will's ballgame. And, also, he might turn them grayer than they'd ever been in the first place.] but I don't want their numbers to decrease because we, as a group, decided they didn't matter and left them as easy prey. That actually seems to go against the entire point of warning anyone at all, making it almost completely pointless. Like wrapping a present in front of the person you mean to give it to.

If we're not going to actually act on what we say, we could always just go the next step and turn this network into a gossip rag. We can just start taking pictures and asking who wore the little black dress better, point out two people holding hands and ask for details about their blooming romance, start sharing tips for dieting and gardening, and occasionally spatter it with some graphic imagery of murder to keep things varied.

[Because comparing actual valid warnings against genocidal maniacs to The National Enquirer is the way to make friends. Voldemort and Joffrey are on par with Joan Rivers yammering on about how fat someone looks in their Prada dress. Yes. Definitely. Very well done, A+. Totally not incendiary at all, nope. Definitely not doing it on purpose. Just Will not knowing how to people.

No, no, it's totally on purpose.

doge over and out]

[Stiles' face shows up on the screen and he's looking maybe just a little worse for wear. There's lines around his eyes and he looks like he hasn't been sleeping well.]

So, the timing on this could be better. I'll be jumping on the wagon to Alfheim tomorrow morning and, um, I need a favor.

[He really should have locked this from his dad, but he hadn't really been on his game when he'd decided to make this.]

Could someone come in and check up on Scott while I'm gone? He went all grey and we can't find his bracelet. I've got him sort of... tied up to his bed, but I need someone to come by and make sure he eats and uh, you know, bathroom stuff.

[Anyone who knew him could see this wasn't an easy thing to ask. Someone was feeling especially guilty at the moment.]

I can't leave him like that, so if no one can do it, I'll just have to, ah, let him go. But with all this going on right now...

I'd just really appreciate a little help. I'll owe someone. Hugely.

[There's a pause, then Stiles looks directly into the screen instead of letting his eyes jump all around it.]

Please.

Hey, guys, I got a few orders of business for you all.

First, I'm Fiona Gallagher. I'm the new secretary at the Albus Dumbledore Academy. Which I know doesn't sound the most exciting, but it means I'm the person you wanna go to for the little details and stuff. Like if your name's spelled wrong on your transcripts, or if you wanna switch courses? You wanna talk to me.

Also, if you wanna enroll, I can talk you through it. It's not a big thing, I mean, the credits don't exactly transfer. It's mostly for learning stuff if you want to. We've got all kinds of stuff, here, uh- [There's the sound of paper rustling; she's clearly looking over some sort of page:] Astronomy, alche- alchemy? [Whatever that is.] Self-defense, magic history, Egypt... Something about Egypt. Anyway, what I'm saying is, this isn't exactly public school.

And to anybody in the school, if you're a teacher or a student, it'd be great if you could introduce yourself and tell me what classes you're taking or teaching? I've got records, but I wouldn't mind doing a double check.

Anyway, second, anybody wanna haul some big a- [Don't swear!! Official work related network post, remember not to swear] some really big filing cabinets into the academy? I'll need 'em in the actual academy if they're gonna do us any good. Payment is traditional currency, you know, a six pack.

Okay, maybe a twelve pack in this weather.

And third, anybody wanna help teach me some of this magic crrrr-... this magic stuff? I have the plant power. I'll pay you.

[ooc lol i probably should have put this up earlier but this post is totally open to threadjacking if the need strikes o/]

[This month has been a steaming sack of shit for Sam Winchester and it's beginning to show -- he's pale, has bags underneath his eyes, and looks like he hasn't slept in days. His home is intact, but he knows some other buildings in Asgard aren't, and Sam is beginning to develop a powerful migraine right in the base of his skull that he wants to attempt removing with a hacksaw.

Normally, Sam has a lot of patience for this kind of stuff -- panic and disarray is kind of the Winchesters' deal. But right now all Sam wants to do is lock his door and ignore everyone plus their mother, because right now, the closest people to him have done nothing but lie to his face about how everything is fine and dandy when in reality, Sam is falling apart at the seams.

Still, Sam has a point to prove -- and when he speaks, it's careful and calm, though a far cry from the normal gentle tone he carries when speaking to the panicked population of Asgard during times like these. He's overtired to the point of blind exhaustion and certainly doesn't have the strength to go around saving babies from burning buildings, but even though his entire life has crumbled to pieces, he's still a hunter.

People still need saving.]

Everyone who's injured needs to head the hospital -- and the able-bodied need to rally together and try to get to the people trapped in the collapsed buildings. The Citadel is a good place to get together, I think -- how about anyone willing to help out meet there? Bring water. The healers don't need to deal with heat stroke on top of everything else.

[Sam pauses for a few moments before drawing in a steady breath, releasing it slowly.]

Stay safe.

( [Filtered to Team Merlinatural // Private // Unhackable] )

[ so, Rachel's freaked out. really, really freaked out. the network is talking about a mirror universe and she's noticed it, of course she has. people getting sucked into reflective surfaces. it's hard not to notice that! and she's managed to avoid getting caught in the crossfire so far, but only because she's shut herself in her room and hasn't left since the fighting started to get really bad. which, honestly, she hates. she feels useless!

so...

here's this transmission. she sounds panicked and frustrated all at the same time, fun stuff. ]

So, hi. Hello.

I'm still pretty new to the city so this might sound like a dumb question, but is it status quo for giant ..giants to be running around fighting each other here? Does this kind of thing just happen? I get that the people-stealing mirrors is new, but is this what the war is like here? The one we're supposed to be fighting in. Because I can't say I'm a huge fan of hiding out in my room and waiting until it's all over instead of actually helping somehow, but this kind of came out of nowhere and I've had a total of zero hours of training with my abilities, so here I am. Can't we do something? Maybe? What are we supposed to be doing right now?

[ half seriously looking for some answers, half just trying to distract herself from how crazy scary all of this is. yep. ]

[ The video to the network starts with a smug little smile, as most of Thiazi’s correspondences do. The field beneath the video that would typically display a name instead simply reads t̶̬h͓͇̪̗̥ ̷a͚̙͙̻͔̳z̷͔̣͖̬͚ ]

It’s been too long, Odin’s little bootlickers.

[ The sound is distorted, distant, as if coming through a loose connection. Thiazi’s cold smile is perfectly clear, however. ]

I am the Queen of Frost, and once again, the futility of your -

[ Whatever she’s saying is cut off abruptly by a sharp crashing sound from nearby. She looks quickly to the side, and her expression is less 'alarmed' and more 'off-put.' ]

You-

[The response is loud enough to be clearly heard carrying over her end of the connection, booming and unmistakably irritated.]

What do you think you’re doing?

[ Thiazi stands and turns, a snarl on her face and in her tone. ]

Surt. I was the one who began this attack before you and your army- [ The word is dripping with sarcasm. ] -charged in to attack, and we shall be the ones to-

[ She gestures widely then, and the video and audio both distort further as Thiazi steps back and a tall blonde man storms into sight. The sound cuts completely, leaving the wavering and staticky impression of the two of them bickering heatedly, before the video abruptly ends. ]


[ OOC Notes: Thiazi and Surt are both on the scene in their attack on Asgard, and will be responding in a small capacity to people who reply to this post! This is backdated to Day 362, and is a part of the House Divided event. ]

[Action for Sigyn Welcome Hall]

[Relatively early in the morning, a high-pitched scream can be heard in the building, followed by hurried footsteps running up to the third floor and the slamming of the door. And given that Hibiki is the only child on that floor who is likely capable of making a sound at that pitch, well...

It might not be so difficult to figure out who, exactly, it was. However, it might be a little more difficult to figure out why there is blood staining the carpet on the second floor.

Sorry about your sleep!]

[Text]

Im n ot goingg to the hopsital today sorry

Rutherfordsan im sorry but i dont think i can ma ke diner either today

[Isaac is broadcasting from inside of a pretty wrecked looking place. The shelves around him are still in some form of disarray, water damage is soaked into the walls, and there are various animal cages laying on the ground with different sorts of pets in them- sluggish lizards in one, sneezy rats in another... all in all, the sight is kind of depressing, even if there are obvious attempts to clean it up.

He sighs.]

Right. I was hoping to not have to do this, but I think that the animals will get sick if we keep them here for much longer. Can you guys foster some of these while we're getting the store rebuilt? We can give you all the stuff you need to take care of 'em.

Oh. And- we're broke. Like, really broke. [Having over a week of no income, plus repairs, plus having to use product to keep the animals alive will do that to you.]

So... [Isaac sighs.] There are those apple things that give you money, right? Would anyone be willing to share some?

[There's a face that might be familiar to some people appearing onscreen. It looks a little less perky than it usually does and seems to be needing a moment before actually speaking.]

Hey. I don't know what happened, but I could swear I'd gone home for a while. But I'm back here again and... yeah.

I guess a few people missed me, judging by the messages waiting for me. I'll get to those in a bit, but I thought I'd let everyone know I'm back. Scott... I guess I'll see you when you've got some time. I hope things have been quiet and I have no idea how long I've been gone, so any heads up on that would be appreciated.

[So the practical jokes are all in good fun, and Sam is a fan of laughing. But Sam is not really a fan of gods playing tricks on other people, because you know what?

Gabriel is a fucking asshole, that's what.

So instead of taking part, Sam is stoutly refusing to be affected through being a stubborn asshole and is instead being a do-good spoilsport, because that is what Sam does best.]

You know, the last time I was on the receiving end of a practical joke, I was put into daytime television hell where I was forced to be in a sitcom, a Japanese gameshow, a hospital drama, and a genital herpes commercial.

[There is a slight pause.]

Anyone who tries to do anything to me, harmless or otherwise, should remember that I have guns and I know how to use them.

[Don't touch his shit, losers. :') But on a more serious note:]

I collected data on the spirits that attacked recently -- but I'd appreciate anyone else's experiences to add to what I saw personally.

[And the feed ends.]