You know, if I was a god, I'd really be a lot more picky when it came to the selection process.  I mean, really, as productive as talking about wedding cakes, unscrambling word puzzles, and making lists is, I think I'd be better off reeling in bunch of trained monkeys.  They be more productive and generally more pleasant to be around.  

No offense.

But I guess instead, these gods are going to settle for mutant children and unruly teenagers.  

Good luck making use of that for your relief efforts.  Maybe the flooding was punishment for the lack of total competency in this place.

Also.  I have an important question.  Do the gods here take human sacrifices?  That might help with the supply shortage problem.  Also the annoying surplus of orphans.

[ Today, Sollux comes on with a friend. Not just any friend, but a fuzzy purple bee perched on his finger. Even by alien bee standards, it's pretty big-- a queen bee. He looks actually happy for once. Savor this rare moment. The bee, however, seems agitated, not unlike all the other animals lately... ]

Hey RX, look what I found. I guess you're not guilty of complete bee genocide. I don't know how the shit she survived, maybe she found somewhere warm? Don't know, don't care. This is fucking awesome, and my bees are fucking awesome. Alternia bees: 1. Regular bees: 0.

But, uh, does this mean anything to anyone?

[ He holds up a piece of paper that reads:

`QpD BaS WATQF CsqarS GAVQ T`Q `UqArG GsqQT`arS WFsrS PArSQF

...in careful but still awful handwriting. ]

I even wrote it down twice to make sure it wasn't wrong, fuck if I know where she got it from.

I've been here forever already, how much longer do I have to sit around being bored out of my pan before something happens?

[ If "barely a month" is forever. But he looks pretty disgruntled about it, and he's ready to lay on the melodrama while willfully ignoring... just about everything else that's happened lately. None of that has to do with him, so it doesn't really count. ]

This is some kind of punishment, isn't it? Like before I die I have to sit here and waste away doing absolutely nothing. Maybe I'll just die of boredom. I thought it would be a little less pathetic than that when it happened but I guess not.

[ Look at him, he's so angry. Just so angry. You can almost see the sparks coming off of him; at the very least, he's nearly spitting in conjunction with his lisp. ]

Who took my sweater? I tried to be nice and let whoever stole it bring it back, but it's not here and it's starting to tick me off. If that Santa asshole came into my block and took it while I was sleeping I'm going to be pissed.

[This is Itachi attempting a bit of holiday spirit. And if he's going to be doing this, he might as well let those see it who might get a kick out of it. Apparently this holiday is a big deal for a lot of the inhabitants here.

He adjusts the image so that his sweater is clearly visible and even flips the lights on.]

I understand why people would be irritated with having their coats turned into something they didn't expect recently, but if not for that I find this particular tradition somewhat charming.

[This is not a cursed sweater. He actually picked it out himself.]

[He blinks the lights again.]

[The video coming through at the moment seems to be coming from somewhere in the Freyr welcome hall, going by the colours. Kanji's staying inside in the cool, dammit, where he can get something to drink easily.

However, he's got other reasons to be sweating, right now. How about some nerves? He can't quite believe he's doing this.
Still, if that mirror world'd told him anything, it was a reminder about being true to himself, so... here goes nothing.]

Uh - so, hey, everyone.

We've all been through a whole lot over the past few days. And we could kinda use a break from it… so… Figured I'd do somethin' to cheer folks up. I was doin' a couple already, so...

[In a bit of a rush-] I'm makin' these.

[Kanji reaches down out of camera-shot, and picks up an absolutely adorable knitted plushie. A grey kitten with a flower on its collar, to be precise.]

If anyone wants one... they're gonna be one hundred percent custom designs. Whatever you want, I can make, pretty much. That's hand-make. More complicated ones are gonna cost more and I'm gonna need to spend longer working out the patterns on them, but I can still do just about anything.

So who's up for the cutest crap that this city's ever seen?

[Behold, Asgard! This time, Jack's video isn't being recorded on a roof - it's inside of the Guardian's apartment above the ice rink. He is sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, metal staff lying across his lap, but he isn't the one doing the recording. Judging by the snickering coming from behind the screen, Jamie is their cameraman today.]

You know, for a bunch of people who got dragged to a new world by a bunch of Norse gods, were given new powers, asked to fight ice giants-- [He's counting with his fingers as he speaks.] --and get cursed more often than not, you guys sure are waaaay too skeptical for your own good.

[Sandy, looking somewhat sleepy, is perched on the arm of the couch, his sketchpad open in his lap. He lazily sketches things that aren't visible from the camera, looking as though he's only halfway listening with vague amusement to the spirit next to him. Tooth is sitting on the back of the couch, between them, her wings fluttering slightly. She looks rather amused at the whole thing. ]

Jack, that's not fair, just because some things are real doesn't mean they're going to believe anything they hear.

[Jack, being the mature spirit he is, just... pouts at her a little bit.] Do they have to flip out though? I'm started to get offended! [He turns to the camera again, sounding completely serious about this. Mark the calendar, folks.] Soooo, PSA time, everyone. All the stories you've heard when you were kids? Real. Every single of us - we exist. Get over it already.

( ooc cut for OMG WHEN DID THIS GET SO LONG )

[ The video starts begins with the frowning face of a teenage girl with perked dog ears atop her head. ]

Okay, first of all! Everyone who is new, hi! My name is Jade, and welcome to Asgard, and make sure to let someone know if you need something! I can be helpful - I've been here practically forever now.

Secondly, I am going to need everyone to stop dying, thank you very much.

Thirdly - and this one kind of goes back to the second point, here - if you don't know how to use a weapon, you need to learn how to use a weapon. [ The frown on her face grows a little more severe. ] We are at war, and we can't always rely on our powers! Because some of them kind of suck - no offense, Harry - and when we're attacked, they're not gonna care if you're able to make a giant fireball or if you can just float half a foot off the ground.

[ Her expression is very decidedly stubborn. ]

I can teach you how to shoot a gun. I want to teach you how to shoot a gun! If you can't fight? Please let me teach you how to shoot a gun so you don't die, okay? Between here and home I've died like four times [ five, she's just unaware of that last one right now ] and I am getting sort of sick of it. Let me help!

Or at least let someone.

[ Jade leans forward, as if to end the video, before she wrinkles her nose and adds - ]

Also there's no pie at the Highwind today because my baker is being a butthead. Sorry Stiles. Take it up with Ryan!

hey i cant reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedsvxz

[.......Is whatever is left from ???'s attempt to type when the feed switches over to video. Apparently he forgot to put up a filter too, but that's his loss.

As for the 5 minutes of video at start up, there's a spikey-haired brunet passed out and laying against the side of a brown cow in a rather small barn. He certainly looks a little worse-for-wear with faded bruises showing on his arms, and there's dried blood caked into his hair on one side of his head. So maybe someone hasn't completely taken care of himself after Freyr was saved, but it's not something he could consciously work on while grey.

He is also very very late to the party. Which is over already.

Gasping, 'Sora' finally shoots upright, eyes wide for a second before squeezing shut as he presses his hands to his face with a low groan. Still nothing much after that, but the cow is tilting her head back toward him, choosing to comfort him by lapping at his hair with her tongue. A hand leaves his face to push her away because ew cow spittle, settling on her nose while his other hand pinches the bridge of his own.]

Shhhh, shush. Dream, it was just a bad--

[Crap, he doesn't get dreams. Something is wrong with this picture; which is why ??? cracks open his eyes again to squint/glare at the wall across from him. Catching up is a bit......slow for him right now, and it's not just that his whole body is wrong. When ??? eventually gets onto his feet, he more or less continues stumbling along with a certain lack of balance. That and he may just get sick, with how pale he suddenly looks. Coming back from being grey after getting his version of a concussion is bad, but being human makes it worse.]

Urgh, stupid humernnnugh... [Double-taking to look at his hands, he's pretty sure those aren't his gloves (although they look familiar). He also isn't stupid enough to wear big, yellow shoes.] Why am I in--?!

[That's not his voice either!

Moving to the water trough (with a little less stumbling), ??? tries to get a good glimpse at his reflection. It's really not doing him any favors with how murky it is, but he finally gets the results he's looking for....And his expression is switching to pure horror.] Why...

WHAT THE HELL?!

[[ooc: ???'s been cursed to look like Data!Sora now that I'm back from hiatus. :D For icons, I'll be using memoirofsky while tagging.]]

[Whenever Terezi and Sollux recede from the limelight, everyone should start to get worried. That means they're plotting, and everyone should be very, very afraid of what they could be plotting. And they've put some effort into this one. Not a lot, but a substantial amount, for a large joke.

The video opens with Terezi and Sollux perched on stools, coffee mugs in hand, clad in slacks and the ugliest sweaters imaginable, shit-eating grins plastered on their faces.

Terezi bursts into laughter the moment the feed goes live, and flaps a hand at Sollux, wheezing through her teeth.] You start, [she orders between her cackles,] This was your idea, Appleberry. [Still snickering, she lifts her mug to her mouth and tries to pokerface, and instead almost ends up aspirating coffee when she laughs halfway through a sip.]

Don't make excutheth for being a lazy athh, it'th not fooling anybody. [But he holds his mug up in mock salute, all his fangs on display.] Good day, Athgard. Ath you know, the godth have a terrible tendency to be indecithive fuckwadth, and tho we end up theeing the thame people, over and over and over. And we'll thay it becauthe you're too thtuffy to even admit it to yourthelf- thome verthionth thick more than otherth. Which got uth to thinking-

It's important to have a frame of reference, you see. To answer the really hard-hitting questions. Such as, which trolls suck the most! And the least, of course! [She shares a conspiratorial smirk with Sollux.] That way, everyone knows who they should avoid on sight and who are the gods of troll sexiness and should be smothered with adoration. [And then she bursts into another fit of laughter.]

( click through for the exciting conclusion!!! )

[ he feels like he was home and back here again in the blink of an eye. it's a little jarring, to say the least. but none of that shows. he hides his frazzled side well. one thing that he can't hide though is just how exhausted he is. not physically, no. but mentally, emotionally. being in the capitol - trapped, no less - and having to deal with... well, with everything. it's tiring. not that he really had the time to deal with any of that while he was home. he was there just long enough to get a clear reminder of where he was and what awaited him when he went back for good, though.

that's why there's also a hint of relief. or maybe it's more like a lot of relief and just a hint of exhaustion by comparison. well whatever the ratio, he can't hide, either, just how glad he is to be back here again ]

I don't understand what the point of sending me back to Panem was if I was just going to be brought right back here again. That is what happened, isn't it? I went home and came back?

[ he's almost afraid to ask, but ]

Was I the only one? From Panem to be sent back there, I mean.

So, this network thing's pretty cool, I have to admit. Like MySpace, only... bigger.

[ Yes, he's still from the days of MySpace. However, compared to the technology at school, Asgard's lacking.

He scratches the back of his head, unsure of what to say before he continues. ]

And I've learned a lot in the past day. [ Many terrible things to look forward to at home. However, he won't mention that now. ] Curses, gods, different worlds... Am I leaving anything out?

And, uh, I want to check something I heard. I know we get a new power while we're here.

[ It's still strange, being able to talk casually about having an ability. In his world, he was hated for being a mutant, but here... He could actually be himself. Out of everything he's experienced at Asgard, that was probably the most unbelievable. ]

But any power we might've had before... It's really true that it's gone? No way to get it back?

[ He's not asking for himself. Not really. He knows his cyrokinesis is gone, and it's a shame. He doesn't mind healing, but he misses his old ability. He'd trade back in a heartbeat.

But if Rogue arrived, she'd have a new power. He cared about her no matter what, of course, but to think that they wouldn't have to be so cautious whenever they hold hands, hug, or kiss... It's selfish to think about. He should want to return home as soon as possible, and he does. Still, he can't help but realize how nice that sounds. ]

[ Video / Outside the Freyr House Action ]

[Leonardo sat watching the birds fly around in the sky near the God House that had become his temporary home. Even here where people could fly using magic the idea of a flying machine was one that he could not forget. So he sat outside doing a few sketches of a machine that might be familiar to at least one person here.
He spoke to the communicator... or maybe it was just to himself as he didn't seem to be paying much attention to the device at all.]

The idea is not to be lighter than air but maybe if I could use a different material for the frame then there would not be the need for as many fires to be lit around the city. I wonder if any at all would be needed...

[A broad bat-like wing was added to the sketch.]

I have heard there is a metal called aluminum that is supposed to be lighter and stronger than wood. Could that really work?

[Then the second wing was drawn in on the other side. He knew the design by heart and was able to easily replicate even the complex gears and levers that would go into making this device able to be steered by the pilot.
With the drawing finally completed to his satisfaction, the artist sat back and gave the page an exasperated smack with his hand.]

If only I had a place large enough to build this in! I could finally test these improvements and bring the bird back to lif--... mio dio!!

[Even before he had completed the sentence the flying machine sprang from the page. Leonardo’s desire to see the machine fully constructed made the craft materialize with little warning, right there in the middle of the lawn. More remarkable still the craft was not just a small toy-like version it was large, full sized, and looked entirely ready for its first test flight. The machine looked just like the original one he had built but as Leonardo curiously inspected the device he found it to be made from the more modern materials he had been exposed to in this city. It was in fact, just like the design he had just drawn, improvements and all!]

Remarkable! Even the fabric has been replaced... My powers must have grown enough to allow this to happen?

[Whether he knew his communicator had been on this whole time or not he picked up the device and smiled as he finally addressed it and whomever might have been watching. ]

I suppose I will need to find some one crazy enough to be a test pilot. Would anyone be brave enough to attempt it?

[Here's a smirk you haven't seen in a bit, Asgard. Kon's been working hard, getting himself organized -- and the fruits of his labour are about to mature.]

Hey, Asgard! It's me, your resident super guy and my happening room-mate, Roxy -- say hi to the nice people, Roxy.

[The feed is directed to focus on Roxy. She holds up a hand, giving an idle wave]

What's up my Asgardian fellows? The residents of the newly-named 'Super Science' apartment have got one totally great offer for you,valid only for the coolest of the cool, aka. those of you that are our friends!

[The feed gets somewhat jostled as Kon tries to scoot himself into view without taking the feed off of Roxy. Tricky, but you don't become a teen-sensation without learning a thing or two about cameras (the being able to float himself upside down into view helps too).]

Friends of friends are cool too. We're flexible like that. Anyway, to this once in a lifetime chance my partner in crime here alluded to. We're introducing tecnophobes and those from worlds without the joy of daytime TV and other cultural institutions the chance to view highly rated visual media in the presence of two entertainment pros. AKA, movie night at ours.

Right! And for your viewing pleasure we've already selected a bunch of really great classics, full of suspenseful storylines and enough eye candy your eyes are gonna go diabetic, like, that will be a thing that actually happens. So what do you say?

When and where my instructors in the glorious art of tube surfing? The paid housing in Baldr 104, no fashionably later than tonight at 7. Remember, Asgard. There is no fail -- there is only get the hell over here to watch greatness in DVD format.

[Roxy leans forward, giving the camera a peace sign and a quick wink.] Be there or be square!

((ooc: Mingle Log! All welcome!))