[The feed comes on accidentally, one of the last 'hiccups' in the network before Loki is back to full health. Equius is staring to the side in what looks like a gas station, a rumbling growl coming out of his throat. He seems to be trying to make sounds over and over again.]

Le... le... le...

Language of love indeed. It sounds like idiotic cluck-beast babble.

[He growled, shaking his head and looked up at the door, scratching at the door when it opened. There was a dingling sound from a bell above the doorway and he leaned forward, a hand on top of the bowl of free fire-hot candies he'd set out on an 'impish' whim.]

Ah, Nepeta... good. [ahem] [ahem] [AHEM]

Voulez vous avec moi se swoi...

[His small, cat-like moirail comes bouncing in, the candy-bowl getting a pointed look before her attention swerves back to Equius.]

Ooh, are you still purracticing that? Try it again!

[He nodded and grunted, handing her a candy that was not tricked to be overly spicy.]

Of course. I see no reason not to attempt to broaden my horizons, and if I am to express romantic intentions then my moirail is the most appropriate to do so with.

[ahem] Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

[It is really, really, unbelievably creepy to see Equius trying this hard to offer a french leer to the words, especially with the way his lips quivered and his broken, snaggled teeth seemed to quiver. The feed crackled and cut off right about then.

No, he has no clue what he's just asked her to do.]

(OOC: This color is Equius and This is Nepeta)

[For a holy city, everything sure looks like hell right now.

Akihiko has managed to find his way to the Thor district, thanks to that handy map. But he doesn’t stay put for long, and promptly heads out to start gathering info. He shoots a curious look at the bracelet, remembering what it’s supposed to be used for. No harm in trying it out, right?

To his surprise, it turns on this time, and he reads through the awesome automated introduction message with a somewhat incredulous look on his face.]

What the hell…? Is this shit for real?

[That… sounds a lot goofier than what’s stated in the welcome letter. Do the gods really expect people to take these contents seriously? Anyway, he’s being recorded, so moving on…]

Hey, everyone. Got a few questions for ya.

First off, do any of you need help? It sounds like we missed one hell of a fight. [His tone clearly depicts disappointment in that fact.] So the gods won this match, huh? [Since the city is still standing and all, despite the damages.]

And I saw a few shops on my way over here. Any of those places hiring right now? Something physical would be nice – it can tie in with my training regime.

[No time like the present to get started!]

OK EVERYONE.
BAD NEWS. AND EVEN WORSE NEWS. COMING UP.

BAD NEWS FIRST.
I HAVE RETURNED TO THIS SHITHOLE. AND NOW CANNOT CONTINUE MY GRAND MASTER WORK HOMOSUCK.
AND ALL MY GREAT TIME LORD POWERS. WHICH I GOT FROM CASUAL ASCENSION TO GOD TIER. DON'T WORK.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
I HAVE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION BEGINNING A NEW GRAND MASTER WORK. FOR ALL OF YOU HERE.
I AM THINKING OF CALLING IT. "ASSFUCK".
BECAUSE WE'RE IN ASGARD. AND IT FUCKING SUCKS. IT'S INCREDIBLY CLEVER.

WORSE NEWS.
MY PATRON GOD HAS FORBID ME FROM KILLING ALL THE ANNOYING PEOPLE SWARMING IN.
SOMETHING ABOUT MAKING CALLIOPE "QUEEN OF ASGARD". IF I DO.
FUCK THAT.
SO THEY'LL JUST HAVE TO STAY UNTIL HE FIGURES OUT TO SEND THEM ALL BACK.
PERSONALLY. I THINK KILLING THEM WOULD MAKE IT SO MUCH FASTER. AND LESS TIME CONSUMING FOR HIM.
BUT WHATEVER. I WILL RESPECT MY PATRON GOD BRO. EVEN IF HE DID SAY "PLEASE". UGH.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. IN REGARDS TO THIS NEWS. YOU CAN SHOVE IT.

[ooc: Open to 4th wall interactions btw, for anyone outside of Asgard who wants to tag!]

[Asgard has been good to him. It gave him Sasuke for starters, and already things are-- sort of edging back to how he thinks they should be.

Of course, there are a few things bothering him.

What better way to hash them out than to declare his feelings to the entire world?]

So these powers suck? I mean, how Sasuke gets to control people's bodies while I'm like--

[He can't say it. Energy Transfer sucks.]

Yeah, well I wanna have a word with a bunch of people and see how I'm supposed to change 'em. That girl that can heal now - she did it.

AND! [Look, it must be important, he's pointing at the feed there.]

There's gotta be a place that sells ramen around here. Anyone wanna go?

[The video feed settles on the grey-skinned troll as he runs a hand through his violet streaked hair.]

You knoww, a lot a' you complain about fightin' in this wwar, gettin' dragged here against your fuckin' wwill. But wwhat I wwant to knoww is wwhat the fuck happens wwhen it's all ovver.

[Eridan is surprisingly somber, a hint of a frown tugging down the corners of his grey lips as he stares down the screen. His fins are slightly drooped, and he chews on his lower lip for a long moment before continuing.]

Wwhat happens to those a' us wwho don't havve a univverse to go back to? My fuckin' planets gone, and considerin' this scar around my gullet, I'm not bettin' that I get out a' encounterin' Kan's chainsaww alivve.

[He's not going to let them send him back to die, no matter how impermanent it might be in his universe.]

I'm not fuckin' goin' back. Not to Alternia. Not to that fuckin' sack-a-wwhale-entrails  of a meteor.

[He had finally come to that decision this morning. He's not going back. And Gl'bgolyb help the god who tries to make him.]

So wwhat are my other options?

[See the woman. See the naked woman clutching a darkened version of this to her chest. The video looks like it's taken outside the castle if the background is anything to go by and from a low point of view, considering she's sitting on the ground. She doesn't seem to care that she's naked but luckily (or perhaps unluckily) the architectural reconfiguration circuit gives her some sense of privacy, as does the piece of what looks like scrap metal that's laying across her lap.]

[Confused and frowning, the TARDIS is certainly unhappy at this particular moment. Her tone is a bit snippy, verging on the edge of something worse.]

That was...I am. [p a u s e] I've returned. And I'm lacking in clothing. That's a thing most of you humans disapprove of, isn't it? Could someone bring me something to wear? I'd rather not distress those who'd be offended by my naked vessel. Even a bedsheet would do.

Doctors, dear, are you still here? I'd hate to have returned only for you to have run off on me. Are the rest of you strays still living in that house in Odin? It was getting a bit crowded last I was there.

[She shifts, not once loosening her grip on the strange orb.]

I'd be grateful if someone could fill me in on what I've missed since I left. It's been a while. A lot of things can happen.

[A small huff.] Hello again, Asgard and its temporary people. I'm... [What does she go with? Last time Eleven was flaily when she introduced herself as Sexy.] ...the TARDIS, that's what you can call me.

[When the feed flicks on, Asgard will be greeted with what is probably best described as the least impressed face in the entire world. Dualscar looks deeply unsatisfied, but the fact is that this is his face after a day or two of mulling over the facts he's been presented with.]

Afternoon. [The greeting isn't said so much out of friendliness as it is out of formality.] Though I've recently arrived, I'm well informed as to my whereabouts and the nature of the situation. The less said about it, the better.

I'm not here to make idle conversation or to ask stupid questions, though I do require some information. I've already been acquainted with the...lesser beings that populate this place, though I would like to know just exactly how many different species there are among us, along with the more notable members of the populace. I've no time to waste on commonplace people or vapid conversation, any answers given are to be with purpose.

With that in mind, I have a particular interest in knowing which members of my species have made it here. Trolls, make your presence known to me. I need names and titles, even if you are from a less than respectable hue.

I suppose I should do you all the good pleasure of knowing just exactly who I am. I'm known as Orphaner Dualscar, and again, the presentation of my title is not cause for conversation or pleasantries.

[Whenever Terezi and Sollux recede from the limelight, everyone should start to get worried. That means they're plotting, and everyone should be very, very afraid of what they could be plotting. And they've put some effort into this one. Not a lot, but a substantial amount, for a large joke.

The video opens with Terezi and Sollux perched on stools, coffee mugs in hand, clad in slacks and the ugliest sweaters imaginable, shit-eating grins plastered on their faces.

Terezi bursts into laughter the moment the feed goes live, and flaps a hand at Sollux, wheezing through her teeth.] You start, [she orders between her cackles,] This was your idea, Appleberry. [Still snickering, she lifts her mug to her mouth and tries to pokerface, and instead almost ends up aspirating coffee when she laughs halfway through a sip.]

Don't make excutheth for being a lazy athh, it'th not fooling anybody. [But he holds his mug up in mock salute, all his fangs on display.] Good day, Athgard. Ath you know, the godth have a terrible tendency to be indecithive fuckwadth, and tho we end up theeing the thame people, over and over and over. And we'll thay it becauthe you're too thtuffy to even admit it to yourthelf- thome verthionth thick more than otherth. Which got uth to thinking-

It's important to have a frame of reference, you see. To answer the really hard-hitting questions. Such as, which trolls suck the most! And the least, of course! [She shares a conspiratorial smirk with Sollux.] That way, everyone knows who they should avoid on sight and who are the gods of troll sexiness and should be smothered with adoration. [And then she bursts into another fit of laughter.]

( click through for the exciting conclusion!!! )

"Greetings Asgard, I hope today finds yoU well. It seems I caUsed a wee smidge of a stir when I... went away. My apologies."

[The green girl looks well, far more than anyone riddled with bullets ought to be. Bundled up in several cat themed blankets, she casually sips her tea, the only sign of trauma being the way the cup mildly clatters in her shaky grasp.]

"Sorry to damn yoU with false hopes, brother, bUt as yoU can see, I am qUite alive. Now then, if yoU are qUite finished making a spectacle of Us both, we have a war to absolve! I see now that hiding from yoU was a mistake. ShoUld yoU have actUal need of me, I will be aroUnd."

[She averts her gaze. Only recently has she gotten used to the idea of showing her face in public, and... while she had not wanted to do it again, it would seem she needed to, if anyone were to believe she had been the victim now resurrected. She sighs.]

"From what I Understand the length of my absence has been considerably UnUsUal. I might attribUte this problem to my having gone home, or perhaps a difficUlty resUlting from my UniqUe biological sitUation, bUt it matters not. I am pleased to be among yoU once more, Asgard.

It has also come to my attention that I am the sole beneficiary of the shop I once sUpplied for. PrevioUsly, I was using my hoUse powers to create props and cosmetics of the theatrical variety. While I shoUld very mUch like to continUe doing so, I am afraid I know precioUs little aboUt what trUly rUnning a bUsiness entails. If anyone might be looking for sUch a position or a partnership of sorts, I woUld be ever so gratefUl. Certainly tailors or someone savvy with handling finances woUld not go amiss either. Until then, cheerio!"

[Private to Dirk]
"I.. woUld very mUch like to still have that visit, if yoU are Up to a reschedUle..?"

[Private to Kanaya]
"I seem to recall yoU being something of a seamstress. Have yoU considered employing yoUr skills?"

[she wakes up on the ground, in the middle of her courtroom, soaking wet. it's not raining anymore, right now, but her hair is sticking to her face and the branch she was sleeping on is hovering above her, Pyralspite still perched haphazardly against the trunk of the tree.  her glasses and her cane are still exactly where she left them.

it's as if none of it ever happened.

except her mouth tastes like blood.
except her tongue is swollen from being bitten.
except the sole of her left foot is hot and pulsing.
except there's blood--only hers--crusted on her cheek, her arms.
except her nose stings like she's been sniffing ammonia, leaving everything blurry and dull.
except she lifts her left hand to touch her cheek and pain whites out behind her unseeing eyes and she almost loses consc--

( cw: suidical thoughts. )

the pain eventually gets to her. slowly, inch by agonizing inch, Terezi forces herself to sit up and drag herself toward the trunk of the tree, out of the rain. she fumbles blindly with the controls of the bracelet, going by memory, since her sense of smell isn't working as well as it usually does.

the video feed clicks to life.

Terezi rests her head against the back of the tree, scratches her scalp behind one damp horn.] Hello, uh... [her voice is a rasping croak. she clears her throat, bashful.]

Does anyone know how to re-set a dislocated bone? I fell... I think. [her arm is folded across her chest, wrist displaying a dark bruise and an unnatural hollow where her bones have been knocked out of place. the fingers of her other hand move to curl lightly lower down her arm, cradling it.] This may have been neglect on my part, but correcting shit like this was never something I added to my skillset! [Terezi tries to laugh. it dies in her throat. she worries at her lip with the points of her teeth, and the old scab cracks under the pressure, colouring the corner of her mouth. she doesn't seem to notice.

maybe she's going crazy. her voice drops to a murmur as she says:] I never needed to, even though I lived in a tree, dragonmom always-- [Her lips slam shut, and she squirms to sit up straighter against the tree's trunk and smears her stringy, sopping bangs out of her uncovered red eyes.] So yes, if I could obtain assistance that'd be cool. [The feed is abruptly terminated.]

[Ichigo doesn't use the network much-at least, he doesn't use it to make his own posts. He'll respond, sure, but he'd rather interact in person than over the network in most cases. This past month, he's been a bit busy, and hasn't really glanced at it much, but now...well. Now he has a genuine problem and quite a few questions.

While he's his normal scowly self, he seems more...fidgety today. Even possibly nervous, although god knows over what. He opens his mouth, shuts it, opens it again, shuts it again. Obviously frustrated, he takes a sharp inhale of breath and lets it out, closing his eyes and apparently trying to relax. Okay. Calmed down. Let's try this again, shall we?]

Hey...everyone.

[...oh god, this is going to be awful. Still, he bravely soldiers on, trying to get over this weird...nervousness.]

So, I uh...I've kind of got a question for everyone. I mean, you don't have to answer it or anything-and if you're just going to be a jackass about it, don't even bother. But...

[Swallow. Did it get dry in here? It got dry in here, when did that happen? Where the hell is some water?]
What, uh...what do you do when you're trying to show someone you like them? And I mean like like them, not just as a friend or family. That...kind of like. I mean yeah, I think I know the basics, but... I don't even know where'd she'd-

Coff. Anyway. So...if anyone's got...tips on stuff like that or where to go for a...date, I'd appreciate it.

[He exhales jerkily, obviously relieved this is over. But he looks at the camera, and something in his gaze changes just a little bit. A bit of panic, maybe? Realizing that this could do hideous things to his reputation (not that he cares, of course)? Hastily, he adds:]

-And before you get the wrong impression, this is for a friend. Not me. So don't even suggest otherwise, alright?

[...oh, Ichigo. He quickly shoves his hands into his pants pockets, looking away.]

Yeah, so....That's it.

[And there goes the feed. [/awkward turtle] ]

[The network is greeted by Dirk Strider with his back to the lake in Gefion Park. He crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head.] Man, no. We've seen nothing but, water for a long ass time. I'm keeping my feet firmly on the terra firma until I grow sick of it.

Come on it's just a boat ride! It'll be fun! [Roxy comes into view behind him, pulling a face as if to say "oh man he's being no fun again."] Diiiiiiirk....

[Dirk sighs. His lack of 'fun' is what got him into a lot of messes.] I still haven't shaken off the ducks that are looking for more handouts.

[He looks down at the birds still looking up hopefully at him.] I go into their domain and we'll never come back out.

Then embrace your new role as duck overlord and get on this boat with me! C'mon, you're the one that wants to go on that trip to water world anyway. Why's that better than this?

It isn't. The sea trip has to be done. We need to know why that place is sealed from people of this world, but not from others. Which sounds like a trap-- fine. Bring out the boat. [A pause.]


Do you even know how to row?

[Letting out a small cheer, she motions for him to follow her.] That's part of the fun? [No, she does not.]

[This is going to end well.] You know I don't either, right?

It's a learning experience! Now smile for the camera, this is going into the imaginary photo album!

What? [Now he looks puzzled. Wait.] ...the bracelet is on, isn't it.

[ooc: Joint post by Dirk and Roxy. They'll both answer any comments.]

[The young males voice that comes across the network sounds kind of hushed as well as muffled, as if he had something covering his mouth. He was actually trying not to draw too much attention to himself, even though he was making a broadcast and addressing the populace.

He had been here for a few days now, though never ventured out of his room. A lot of thinking and second guessing himself is what he's mostly been doing, its okay though, for the longest time now he'd been used to just his own company so its fairly normal to want to be alone for a while... That and other personal reasons.]

So... How about them new powers aye? No really, is there anyone out there who can tell a keen chap a little more on the blighters? That maid was rather helpful but I was admittedly mostly distracted to take full note of what she was saying.

I'm in no rush might I add... Looks like we're all settled in for a while eh? Guess it could be worse...