[ The video starts begins with the frowning face of a teenage girl with perked dog ears atop her head. ]

Okay, first of all! Everyone who is new, hi! My name is Jade, and welcome to Asgard, and make sure to let someone know if you need something! I can be helpful - I've been here practically forever now.

Secondly, I am going to need everyone to stop dying, thank you very much.

Thirdly - and this one kind of goes back to the second point, here - if you don't know how to use a weapon, you need to learn how to use a weapon. [ The frown on her face grows a little more severe. ] We are at war, and we can't always rely on our powers! Because some of them kind of suck - no offense, Harry - and when we're attacked, they're not gonna care if you're able to make a giant fireball or if you can just float half a foot off the ground.

[ Her expression is very decidedly stubborn. ]

I can teach you how to shoot a gun. I want to teach you how to shoot a gun! If you can't fight? Please let me teach you how to shoot a gun so you don't die, okay? Between here and home I've died like four times [ five, she's just unaware of that last one right now ] and I am getting sort of sick of it. Let me help!

Or at least let someone.

[ Jade leans forward, as if to end the video, before she wrinkles her nose and adds - ]

Also there's no pie at the Highwind today because my baker is being a butthead. Sorry Stiles. Take it up with Ryan!