asgardeventide | NPC POST

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NPC POST - VIDEO

Feeling a bit needy today, are we, Asgard?

[ And this god in particular is petulantly smug. How's the curse going, folks? ]

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[This is the face of pure dismay.

He's curled up in a neurotic little ball, looking like he is about a step from panicking, and he has only one question about this business:]

Couldn't this have been a little better-organized?

I think it's perfectly-well organized. What's the problem?

the fact this dude is about to have a fit if he doesnt get a piece of my plumed posterior is the problem
i know its already tough to resist
but couldnt you restrict clingy shit to inanimate objects

I'm sorry. What was that? I'm having a little trouble making it out.

[And sudden topic change is go.]

where are my jpeg artifacts

Oh, for the love of-

Not you again!

what
im hurt
come on dude you cant go catering to everyones needs and leave me out
i put in a formal request and everything

I liked you better when you were typing in pink, I think.

creep alert

I'm pretty sure you can see what the problem is and oh my god it is not like that and I'm forever going to be 'that creepy guy' or something and--

[just BURYING HIS FACE IN THE NEAREST PILLOW don't mind him. The rest is muffled as hell.]

Whyyy.

Oh, relax. It'll be over with soon.

How am I supposed to relax? This is so far past okay.

I don't know? Go cuddle your pal over there.

[For a second he looks like he's seriously considering that, before he quickly shakes his head.]

But I barely know the guy! You can't just go cuddle people you don't even know, okay? It's weird!

He messaged me privately- told me how unbearably lonely he is. What's a cuddle between acquaintances?

It's still weird, for one thing.

[...but if that's true then he really should help out with that, right? The thought of the guy being that lonely is kind of distressing in a way he really does not like.

The most conflicted face.]

You're sure about that?

oh my god this is a level of gullible i didnt want to see ever fucking again
were talking a tier so mythical even the old crones only whisper of it behind closed doors
so congratulations
you have straight up rocketed this shit out of obscurity and into the echelons of the purely egbertian
the boonbonds just keep rolling in

I have no idea what about half of what you just said even meant but look, under normal circumstances none of this would be happening and it is weird and I really do not like this and--

[A frustrated huff.]

What I'm saying is I think I get a little bit of a fucking pass on this one, considering.

...can I just get a hug or something. Swear we'll never speak of it again and all that.

nope
all hugs have been banned from the premises

Okay. Fine. That's fine. Not even a thing.

....you're positive about that?

oh my flipping christ
yes
im positive
its not gonna happen
i know people love hot wings but you can take that one up with colonel sanders
hes got a bucket set aside just for you and any tears you might shed at my absence

Oh, for the love of-- were the rest of the implications you were throwing out not weird enough? How does that even--

Okay. Okay, fine, definitely not happening. Totally okay.

[Not even a little bit twitchy. Not at all.

He is really starting to gain an appreciation for why people hate the whole curse business.]

I'm just-- I'm gonna leave it there. You have fun with your birdperson business, or... whatever.

thats exactly what ive got planned

[He's going to hide out with one of his teen parents now, ok.]

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		OSZAR »

NPC POST - VIDEO

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