asgardeventide | (002) Accidental Video

[ While this entire cupcake battle was going on, Hawke had tried to hide out in Odin, doing his part. He was pretty sure that they turned out somewhat okay - but he wasn't a cook. He usually ordered anything that required mixing. This was something Orana might know about, but he was pretty clueless.

He also wanted someone to test them, and he wasn't sure he wanted to feed it to his companions. If it was bad, he'd never hear the end of it. If it was good he wouldn't hear the end of it. Which is why he was hoping for just "not deadly". ]

And you're not going to go out telling everyone how awful these are, right?

["Not deadly" is something they can both hope for. Hawke had also been hiding in Thor, attempting to make some more or less acceptable cupcakes that wouldn't be completely fatal to anyone who ate them. Funny tasting, maybe. Coma inducing, perhaps. But not deadly.

Still, there was no way she is going to let anyone she knows taste these. Ever. In all eternity.]

As long as you don't tell anyone how mine might just taste distinctly horrible, I can agree to that.

Right. [ He looks down at his tray of cupcakes... Some have icing, but most are... shameful. Hawke gives the tray a look of disdain. ] How should we do this? At the same time?

If we both do it at the same time, we can tell which ones are inedible once one of us starts choking. [...eyeing the cupcakes again, though. Maker help them, why are most of these cupcakes slightly deformed and funky looking?] --that, or we could both choke and die. It could go either way.

I guess I'd rather die at my own side. [ Chuckling, he reaches over and takes one of hers, offering his tray at the same time. ]

[Well...she's reaching over and grabbing one of his. This is either going to be completely horrible or passable, there is no other option.] Very well. Should I count up to three in order to increase the sense of dramatic timing?

Deal. [ He braces himself. He had grabbed the most edible looking one... ] If I die, give my... our friends my regards.

And if we both die, then our ghosts can haunt them forever while they ask themselves: 'why did we let them eat those cupcakes?' [Bringing it up close to her mouth now. Even the most edible looking ones don't look that... appetizing.] One, two, three...

[ With a wince, Hawke takes a bite on 'three', squeezing his eyes shut and hoping he doesn't suddenly seize.

It's... something, alright. He manages to stutter out the only thing that can come to mind. ] --Uh.

[She's... just going to take a second here after swallowing to try and identify the flavor in her mouth properly, and to wait for some adverse reaction before eloquently blurting out:] Ah.

I'm, uh. Well. It's very... [ He stops. HE CAN'T TALK ANYMORE. THE TASTE IS JUST... It's very consuming, and he's attempting not to vomit. ]

Very... [She stops talking as well, bringing her hand up to her mouth and--] Urp.

[AND THERE GOES THE FEED before the horror of these cupcakes can resurface.]

( ooc: joint post! blue is bearded!hawke while purple is unbearded!Hawke. posting order is a hassle so don't worry about that either, also pretend this happened earlier during the cupcake war. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You could look at houseplants. [ ...maybe not. ] Paintings? [ of someone he doesn't hate maybe. ] ...a rug?

A rug.

[ well, presumably that's less offensive than art, which fenris hates, and plants, which fenris would kill. ]

I suppose... It would cover the floor--nicely.

[ he's trying, at least. ]

They're easy to dispose of when you get blood all over them.

Or wine, I'd hope.

[ heh... good times. ]

Is this-- something you've a great deal of experience in?

No, whenever Sandal decides to swing on the chandelier he usually doesn't get hurt. [ ... ] You could always get a dark rug to hide the stains anyways.

Would it really make you feel better if I had a rug in my room?

[ wait. ]

...Sandal did what?

...It's supposed to make you feel better, I think - oh, right.

He doesn't usually do it when I have guests.

There is nothing-- [ hm. ] I do not feel...

[ gosh, he isn't used to this. what does it matter to you, hawke? ]

[ nope, too difficult. feelings, what feelings? ]

Have you chosen to decorate any differently, in the absence of your house dwarves?

I moved the chairs out. Does that count? [ he just clearly hasn't been to ikea yet. ]

[ he doesn't have bodahn to make sure he doesn't lose all the nuts and bolts. ]

Dare I ask why?

Just to make room, that's all. [ for the cooking disaster. ]

Next time, you should secure the proper assistance.

You'd like to help bake cupcakes next time?

I am not entirely convinced there should be a next time. But if you were to embark on this fool's errand a second time, I would...like to be there.

[ apparently. ]

Then I'll make sure that you are. If there is one.

[ he can wear a pink frilly apron. ]

Perhaps some research is in order, before we mount another attempt.

[ try it and die, hawke. ]

[ Now he's making it seem possible that another baking attempt won't fail... ]

...That is true. It doesn't sound as threatening that way.

[ that's what he does. a ray of sunshine amidst the gloom. HAHAHA. ]

If I didn't know better, I'd say the transition to Hightown had gone and made you soft.

[ "i better get to work being hard again." ]

I'll have to rectify that somehow.

[ scream. ]

"Somehow."

If you've any ideas, I'm ready to hear them.

[ because he was about to say "i'm going to go kill a few dragons" and realised he's only heard of one very-much-not-a-dragon here. ]

Were you a warrior, I would suggest sparring. As it stands...

[ he is not getting on the other end of those fireballs, hawke. no matter how much he likes you. ]

[ ...he doesn't really want to die from a two handed weapon either. ]

Time to embark on a quest of regaining my manliness, I suppose.

It can't have gone far. Perhaps I might...be of some assistance.

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