asgardeventide | [Anon Text] The editors are not responsible for any possible side effects.

Denizens of Asgard!
You wanted to know the truth about these so called gods?
The As(s)Guardian has heard you!
No more secrets! No more unanswered questions!
ARE YOUR BODIES WELL PREPARED?

The truth is shocking, isn't it?
How is it possible to be living under the ruling of such vitiate deities?
Well, dear readers, it shouldn't be a problem at all.
BECAUSE THE TRAVELLERS ARE AS BAD AS THEIR UNPOPULAR GODS!

And let's not forget about our blinging redhead and his collection of fanboys and fangirls!
~~Or should we say 'his pimps and ho's~~

Asgard is sure filled with tragic love stories, isn't it?
We could even say... inspiring!
ALLOW LADIES ROXY AND EURI TO SHARE THE MOST ROMANTIC LITERATURE WRITTEN BY THEIR VERY OWN LOVING HANDS

The keen eyes of The As(s)guardian have noticed that some of our lovely denizens struggle with the act of kissing. And if isn't the act of kissing itself it is kissing the wrong person!
My, such tragedy!
Therefore our glorious magazine has provided a most handy Kissing Guide. The complete overview of how to kiss with the tongues. We also had the (involuntary) help of Asgard's most famous kissing ninja duo: Whiskers and Sasuke. Please utilize this handy-dandy guide and become a MASTER OF KISSING!

{Images based on real events. That's what they teach you in ninja academy.}

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

((ooc: Well, ladies and gentlemen, here it is! The post for the Gossip Girl plot! ~~Anything too dumb I'm blaming it on Loki.~~ I'm turning off my notifs so feel free to mingle and jump on each other. Remember the network is glitchy so have fun with that too! Jack and Loki will anonfail some time in the comments so keep an eye out for them. If you need to contact us for anything, comment on the ooc plotting post or shoot us a pm.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I want them to be children and not think about stuff like this yet.

Dear Jack, my dear, dear friend. Most of these subjects are not suitable for children, you see? Or understandable.

Do not fret.

Alice and Hibiki are totally children! And who knows who else is watching! [Loki, you're brainwashing his little sisters.]

And what will come from it? They might start kissing with the tongues a bit earlier, right?

[Sorry Jack, Loki fails to see your point.]

That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid here!

[Fuck you, man.]

By Odin's sores, this is such a trivial matter to argue about, Jack!

[There is a hint of frustration in his voice.]

[...]

...more trivial than dwarves?

That is a fair question. Children or dwarves? They're both rather tiny.

To me the subject of children is trivial, to you it isn't. But I am sure we are able to meet eachother halfway on this, yes?

[He sighs. Oh, Loki.]

Look, just... don't mess with the children and we'll get along just fine, got it?

I would never do such a thing. After all children are the future, and the like.

Funny, that's what I've been telling you since the beginning.

I know. And I also knew you would be pointing this out to me.

Then remember it next time.

[Anon Text] The editors are not responsible for any possible side effects.

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]

[Audio - not anon]