asgardeventide | [Anon Text] The editors are not responsible for any possible side effects.

Denizens of Asgard!
You wanted to know the truth about these so called gods?
The As(s)Guardian has heard you!
No more secrets! No more unanswered questions!
ARE YOUR BODIES WELL PREPARED?

The truth is shocking, isn't it?
How is it possible to be living under the ruling of such vitiate deities?
Well, dear readers, it shouldn't be a problem at all.
BECAUSE THE TRAVELLERS ARE AS BAD AS THEIR UNPOPULAR GODS!

And let's not forget about our blinging redhead and his collection of fanboys and fangirls!
~~Or should we say 'his pimps and ho's~~

Asgard is sure filled with tragic love stories, isn't it?
We could even say... inspiring!
ALLOW LADIES ROXY AND EURI TO SHARE THE MOST ROMANTIC LITERATURE WRITTEN BY THEIR VERY OWN LOVING HANDS

The keen eyes of The As(s)guardian have noticed that some of our lovely denizens struggle with the act of kissing. And if isn't the act of kissing itself it is kissing the wrong person!
My, such tragedy!
Therefore our glorious magazine has provided a most handy Kissing Guide. The complete overview of how to kiss with the tongues. We also had the (involuntary) help of Asgard's most famous kissing ninja duo: Whiskers and Sasuke. Please utilize this handy-dandy guide and become a MASTER OF KISSING!

{Images based on real events. That's what they teach you in ninja academy.}

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

((ooc: Well, ladies and gentlemen, here it is! The post for the Gossip Girl plot! ~~Anything too dumb I'm blaming it on Loki.~~ I'm turning off my notifs so feel free to mingle and jump on each other. Remember the network is glitchy so have fun with that too! Jack and Loki will anonfail some time in the comments so keep an eye out for them. If you need to contact us for anything, comment on the ooc plotting post or shoot us a pm.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Sandy is giving Jack all the skeptical (and really amused but shush he's trying to be the responsible Guardian) looks. (He got most of his laughter out before turning on the feed.)

Normally, he would just use his dreamsand and pretend he's eating popcorn, but it's hard to do that without dreamsand, and for the sake of other people who will surely be reading this, he'll switch to text briefly.]

If someone comes after you over this, I'm not helping.

[Yes he is.]

Why are you giving me that look? You of all people here should know--

[Woah there. That's... the closest thing Jack ever got to hearing Sandy's voice.]

This is what I have to do to get words out of you? Maybe I need to prank more often.

[GOOD JOB SANDY]

[Wait

Shit

SANDY IS SORRY TO ANYONE JACK NOW PRANKS FOR HIS ATTENTION!

You see, Naruto, this is why Sandy doesn't 'use text like everyone else'!]

[Well, in order to avoid encouraging Jack further (god damn responsibility), Sandy will just pick up his sketchpad with a cross look and draw.

When he turns the pad around, it's a picture of a frustrated Sandy in a circle of characters--Latin letters, Korean characters, Kanji, a series of colored beads, runes, Sanskrit, Greek, and characters from languages so old that there's no hope that anyone from the Common Era would recognize them.

The moral of the story?

YOU try keeping up with written language after a few thousand years!]

Edited 2013-08-11 23:00 (UTC)

Yeeeeah no. I'm not buying any excuses after that. I just got you, buddy, better accept it.

[Sandy glares and draws another series of characters and letters from modern Earth language, followed by a drawing of himself looking confused with a bi question mark over him.

Then there were the symbols of the language everyone suddenly spoke upon their entrance to Asgard, followed by a picture of Sandy with his thumbs up.

He can't write in any modern Earth languages, but he somehow knew how to write and read when he came to Asgard. Don't ask him why.

Also, you're doing nothing to encourage his using text.]

[It's alright if Sandy doesn't use text after all, Jack is amused by his reactions.]

The gods linked us to their power, remember? So we get their language too. I can kinda recognize some accents though sometimes it becomes weird. The kissing ninjas don't know what Japan is.

[Damn it all, Jack.

Sandy rolls his eyes and nods. Yeah, makes as much sense as everything else around here. And why would he be surprised by kissing ninjas not knowing Japan? There are probably worlds where Earth doesn't even exist.

He draws a rough picture of the Yggdrasil tree, covered in leaves. An arrow points to one of the leaves, leading to a snowflake and a cloud of dreamsand. Another arrow points to another leaf, this one leading to the two ninjas. Different worlds generally mean different rules.]

[Love you too, buddy.]

Yeah, yeah, alternatives universes and all that sci-fi jazz. I've sneaked into enough theaters to get the idea, you know.

[The weird part is that human cinema probably could explain the weirdness of the different universes.

But hey, hey, they're getting sidetracked. Sandy waves his arms to put a stop to this train of thought, then starts to draw again. When he turns his pad around to show Jack, it's an outline of the winter spirit writing something new, but instead of features, there's just a lot of question marks all over his face and body.

Next time, Jack, stay anonymous. No matter what he says, he'll step in if some crazy person tries retaliating, and he'd really rather not have to do that. Especially considering they're dealing with fleshy mortals, and fleshy mortals don't stand up to bullwhips nearly as well as spirits.]

[He rolls his eyes. Sandy, please.]

I didn't do it on purpose, the network is glitchy. It's not like I really care anyway. Being anonymous just added a bit of extra mad to their yelling. [A grin. Oh, how much fun he's having.]

[Uh, isn't there a guy commenting beneath him who's talking about taking off your hands? Please note that humans can be crazy sometimes. (Trust him, he's privy to their dreams.)

Sandy rolls his eyes and throws up his hands. Insert grumbles about trickster spirits these days here.

But hey, Jack can take care of himself. Sort of. Mostly. It'll work itself out.

And at least the prank was funny. He still kind of has giggles over it.]

[Oh, Jack knows how crazy humans can be. Three centuries of being invisible teach you a thing or two... or a zillion. But this trickster spirit still forgets how that craziness can affect him now, oops.

Anyway, have an even bigger grin.] See? You're totally enjoying this. Stop worrying, sit down and enjoy the show.

[Sandy rolls his eyes and holds up his hands. This will end badly, but whatever. He's sure Jack will be able to handle it.

Hopefully.]

[Anon Text] The editors are not responsible for any possible side effects.

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