asgardeventide | 007 ♒ Video

[The video feed settles on the grey-skinned troll as he runs a hand through his violet streaked hair.]

You knoww, a lot a' you complain about fightin' in this wwar, gettin' dragged here against your fuckin' wwill. But wwhat I wwant to knoww is wwhat the fuck happens wwhen it's all ovver.

[Eridan is surprisingly somber, a hint of a frown tugging down the corners of his grey lips as he stares down the screen. His fins are slightly drooped, and he chews on his lower lip for a long moment before continuing.]

Wwhat happens to those a' us wwho don't havve a univverse to go back to? My fuckin' planets gone, and considerin' this scar around my gullet, I'm not bettin' that I get out a' encounterin' Kan's chainsaww alivve.

[He's not going to let them send him back to die, no matter how impermanent it might be in his universe.]

I'm not fuckin' goin' back. Not to Alternia. Not to that fuckin' sack-a-wwhale-entrails of a meteor.

[He had finally come to that decision this morning. He's not going back. And Gl'bgolyb help the god who tries to make him.]

So wwhat are my other options?

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If you make men want to follow you, you'll have no need of slaves!

[No bragging, just fact, bro]

But I always win!

[Except for the one time he didn't. But that just makes him like a million wins to one loss]

That's fuckin' hilarious, really. You should be a comedian.

[Eridan scoffs.]

Really? Wwhat sort a' anarchy are you runnin'? Evveryone has a place, some a' 'em at the bottom. Wwhere they belong.

Is it my problem if you can't see my vision?

I never treated my men as slaves. They were all my friends, and they all followed to the best of their ability. When you limit them, you limit the performance of your own forces.

And wwhat kept 'em from turnin' on you?

[Because in his experience, loyalty means very little to a troll.]

Wwhat kept'em from tryin' to take your powwer awway?

Because I made them see my vision! I dreamed grander dreams, laughed louder, drank deeper, and fought harder than any of them, and they knew it.

So why would they turn on me when I could show them the way to a better world?

...

[Eridan is literally speechless, mouth hanging slightly open as he attempts to formulate an answer.]

You're nothin' like any leader I evver read about.

I should certainly hope not! For that is why I am called the King of Conquerors!

King a'...

Wwhat a fuckin' title. Wwho gavve you that? Or did you make it up on your owwn?

[He wouldn't be surprised.]

Of course I did! Why wouldn't I name myself? But there is not a man alive in my world who would scoff at such a thing, either!

[He only ruled the entire known world when he was alive, bro!]

Then wwhat's your actual name, huh?

[And Eridan only committed genocide of an entire known world, bro.]

Have I not introduced myself properly? I am Iskander, King of Conquerors! As of late, I have been known as Rider!

[They are the bestest]

...Iskander.

[He tilts his head slightly. He could have sworn he'd heard that name before.]

I'm Eridan. Eridan Ampora. I'm sure you heard a' me.

Not at all! Should I have?

Uh, duh.

[He's offended that you even have to ask.]

I'm Eridan Ampora. I single-handedly killed a' entire species! Just because I fuckin' could.

I'm one a' the best Orphaners a' my age. Of any age.

[He wishes.]

Orphaner? That's quite a cryptic thing to call a soldier.

More of a'... privvateer than a soldier. I don't take fuckin' orders from anyone.

[Except the Condesce.]

Ah - so you're a pirate.

Privvateer. There's a difference.

I'm afraid I'm not sure of the distinction.

[Rider is too straightforward to employee privateers. He basically just takes whatever he wants anyway]

I'm employed, not some fuckin' rebel scum.

[He sighs, clearly put-upon to even give the half-explanation.]

Anywway. Wwe got a accord, right? Neither a' us is goin' back.

Then you're paid by your Empress to be a bandit!

Indeed! Shall we drink to it?

Drink to it...

[He blinks.]

So you drink often then?

Of course I do! Do you not?

Nevver drank before, except for a glass or twwo a' wwine.

Now that is a tragedy! I imagine you have an aversion to alcohol for some reason as well?

[Like Waver Velvet, gosh. What's with these young men/trolls nowadays?]

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